


Not Purple But Feeling It

by Forevernearyou



Series: A Dom and A Diabetic [1]
Category: One Direction, Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Zayn, Diabetic!Zayn, Dildos, Disabled Character, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, M/M, Safe Word Use, Spanking, Subspace, T1D, Top Liam, Type One Diabetic, but not really, dom!liam, face fucking, kinda has a storyline, mentions of spanking, reference to past relationship, respected safe word use, safe sane and consentual, sub!zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 21:04:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10544316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forevernearyou/pseuds/Forevernearyou
Summary: Liam takes Zayn down into subspace for the first time. It's been a while for Zayn, though, and it can be hard to interpret the way your body feels sometimes. Purple isn't on the list of safe words, but it's the one that Zayn chooses. Together, need to decide if a trip to hospital is in order or if they can work it out by themselves.





	

"Stop. Yellow, Liam you have to stop. I feel purple, Liam. Please. Red. Liam, I need help." Zayn had yelled the first time Liam had taken him well and truly under. 

And the most alarming part of it all was that Liam wasn't even doing anything. He'd been stroking Zayn's hair, simply carding his fingers through it and telling him what a good boy he'd been. They had scened twice before this, but Zayn hadn't achieved subspace just yet, they focused on the simple things: things that let Zayn get to know Liam as his Dom and things that let Liam get to know Zayn as his Sub. But today was different, today the two of them devoted the entire day to scening and easing Zayn into a peaceful, beautiful subspace. 

They had started in the morning, Liam waking Zayn and guiding him down to the kitchen where they tested his blood sugar together, and having come up with a 4,7; Liam had him kneel by the table on a folded up throw where he was hand-fed his breakfast. Together, they spent the entire day edging Zayn closer and closer to subspace before guiding him back to reality. Liam had Zayn draped over his lap at one point and gave him a particularly enjoyable spanking. Quick, sharp swats that left a little twinge of pain and a little spark of pleasure had painted his arse a lovely shade of pink and his thighs lightly tingling. Liam took every opportunity to keep his Sub aroused without making it obvious - a light brush here, a few naughty words there - but made sure to secure a cock ring around Zayn when he was taking things further than a casual encounter. And god did Zayn hate it when Liam had fastened the damned rubber round his member and suction cupped a dildo to the wall. Liam maneuvered his boy, encouraging him with gentle taps to settle himself between Liam and the wall, then told Zayn to fuck himself back and forth between the two phallics: the dildo in his hole, his mouth on Liam. 'To ensure proper technique and not take your focus away' Liam had explained, looking down on the hazel eyes that were staring back up to him, seeing the long, muscled plane of his shoulders, the obscene arch in his back. Zayn was crying in need by the end of it, swallowing Liam's come and filthily begging for release himself, but Liam just gave him a pair of pants to put on and told him it was time for lunch. 

"Yellow." Zayn had said cautiously, keeping his eyes glued to Liam's response. 

Liam froze for just a moment before a calmness immediately took over his features. "Good," Liam started, his tone gentle and caring. "What can I do for you, darlin’? What do you need me to do for you?"

"I didn't get to come, you didn't let me."

"No, I didn't." Liam answered. It was true, but he didn't see why Zayn coloured out because of it. And Liam's not dense, he can only imagine how much it sucks to be told to fuck yourself on a dildo for thirty minutes and not be allowed to come, but they've talked about orgasm control before. Zayn had given the green light, said he'd had experience with orgasm denial. Was this more intense than what he had done previously? Did Liam push him too far without even realizing it?

"Was I bad? Did I do something naughty? I know I said orgasm control was okay, and it is, but I need to know when I'm being punished, Liam. Please."

"No baby," Liam gently pulled Zayn closer to his own body in a hug. Thoroughly glad the lad only wanted clarification and didn't think Liam was doing anything outside what they had discussed. "You're not in any trouble, you've been such a good boy. There's a plan for the day, of what we're doing and when you're allowed to come. You're not being punished right now, you just don't get to come."

"Do I get to know the schedule?"

"I didn't intend on it, no; but if you’re uncomfortable continuing without knowing, then I will tell you."

“But you’ll tell me what you expect of me before, right? Like this morning with breakfast and before I- before the didldo?”

"I will give you directions every time we start something, yes, and I won't do something you're not prepared for."

"Okay."

"And you won't hesitate to say 'yellow' again, or even 'red' if you change your mind. You can change your mind at any point, love, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

"I know, Sir."

"I know you do, baby. I'm very proud of how you used your safe-word today. I just want to make sure you to understand how important this is to me that you speak freely with your words."

"I just- I don't like it when I feel like I'm being punished. And, like, I know it's necessary sometimes, but I- I guess I want you to explicitly say it when that's happening."

"I had no intention, darlin'. And in the future, when you are being punished, I will be certain to tell you in very clear terms. Does that sound good to you?"

"Yes, thank you."

"You're welcome. What's your colour, love?"

"Green, Sir. Thank you for asking, Sir." 

They had a long and detailed conversation about subspace back when they had first started discussing how they would play together. A lot of Liam asking his partner what kinds of things put him there and how subspace usually manifests for him, because it's a delicate thing, it's different for everyone. And Zayn tried to give Liam every thing he asked for: how to be comforted, what his usual mood shifts were, how long he usually stayed down, all of it. But it was hard, a bit, because some things change over time and some things changed from one experience to another. Zayn had admitted then, with flushed cheeks and stuttered speech, that it had been quite a while since he'd gotten to a safe subspace, and Liam didn’t want to throw him into the deep end and watch him struggle. Liam had every intention to lead him in the shallow end and see him thrive when he got all the way in. 

And Zayn did thrive. Liam spent the entire day teasing and testing and pushing and pulling Zayn, and then he settled the two of them in bed and fucked him. Long and hard and deep and Zayn was reduced to whines and whimpers and slurred, drunken speech within minutes. Liam had a spreader bar settled between his boy's knees with his head and chest rested on a pillow, his wrists fastened to his ankles with him laying on his front and his knees folded into his chest. Liam fucked into him slowly, so Zayn could feel every hair that tickled against his walls, so the vain on the underside of Liam's cock pressed against his rim, and every centimetre felt like so much more pushing into his boy. Zayn had yet to come that day, so it only took a few moments once Liam took off the cock ring and told his boy he could come whenever and however many times he wanted. Zayn was spilling onto the towel that had been put down on the mattress almost instantly. 

Liam had gotten two orgasms from his boy when he was sure that Zayn had floated up and away from him. He had fallen into his restraints, Liam making sure to keep a hand settled against Zayn's hips to keep him from toppling over. His breathing had both quickened and evened out, faster than his normal, but not strained or seeming as though he wasn't getting enough air into his lungs. His moans were no longer calculated, instead unshaped sounds falling from his parted lips mixed with particularly devastated sobs. At one point he had spit onto the pillow and Liam was so ready to chaste him for such behaviour before he noticed it wasn't an act of disobedience or lack of domestication, rather of necessity. Zayn was trying to expel thick ropes of snot and mucus that had fallen into his airway, he was only trying to problem solve, he didn't want to stop having Liam fuck him just because he couldn't breath. 

Liam had stopped thrusting into his boy for a moment. "What's your colour, baby? Do you need some help."

"Green. Please, Sir, go. Go, keep on? God please." Zayn responded immediately, trying in vain to rock back further onto Liam's cock. "It's out, I'm sorry, I'm done. I’ll be good. Please keep on."

Zayn was so, so incredibly beautiful in subspace, all plaint and gooey. He wanted nothing except for Liam to take as he pleased. Zayn came four times before he was finally done. Spaced out between thirty-five minutes, and Liam having switched back and forth between his own dick and a dildo a few times before Zayn flinched with oversensitivity. He whined a few times, Liam heard him murmur something to himself in a loop but it wasn't quite loud enough to discern. 

"Speak up for me, boy." Liam commanded, soft enough not to startle Zayn into thinking he had done any wrong but firm enough that the response was instant. 

". . . from you as he wishes. You are fine, you are done when Li is done. Thank him, when he is done say ‘thank you, Sir’. You are fine, everything is fine. He takes from you as he wishes. You are fine, you are done when Li is done. Thank him, when he is done you say ‘thank you, Sir’. You are fine, everything is fine. He takes from you as . . ." Zayn continued after that. Again and again on repeat for Liam. 

Jesus fucking Christ this lad would be the end of him. Liam stilled, the dildo he was pushing in and out of his boy halted half sheathed into Zayn's arse. He must not have realised that Liam had had his fill 20 minutes ago. Zayn must've been so deep that he wasn't aware that Liam wasn’t fucking him anymore - and to be clear, Liam wasn’t upset or disappointed by it - he must be so far down. Liam didn't know what to say in response to it, should he tell Zayn that he's done? Should he keep on so Zayn doesn't think Liam is stopping on his account, should he put an end to it right now and just pull out? Liam finally settled on gently pushing the toy in and out a few more times before cooing to the lad "My beautiful boy."

Then Liam slowly pulled the dildo from Zayn's entrance, chucking it off the bed to be dealt with later, and started working on his boy. He got a flannel first, soaking it in warm water before bringing it back and wiping down Zayn's hole - dried lube chafes, he knows from experience, and he doesn't want even the possibility to exist for Zayn. Liam brought it up his spine next, to gather some sweat and then down his face with a clean patch on the cloth. He untied the knots around his wrists next, massaging the tendons and slowly bringing them to rest slightly bent elbows against his sides. Praising Zayn all the while, he gently rolled Zayn onto his back and took the spreader bar from between his knees. He folded Zayn's arms to cross over his chest, pulling his torso in and manipulating the two of them so Zayn was leaning against him, and he was perched up on the headboard. 

"Didn't have to be over. I coulda taken more, Li. Sir, could've done better, please."

"No, you were so good, my boy, so perfect. Took everything I asked you to and then kept taking. Such a good boy for me today, Zayn. So beautiful. My beautiful, perfect boy."

"I- I was good?"

"Oh, sweetheart, yes. So good. You listened so well all day. My obedient, good little darling," Liam praised. "Do you need anything baby? Are you comfortable?"

"Felt so good, Li. Feels so, like I'm, so-" Zayn struggled to finish the sentence and Liam stepped in for him. 

"Good, baby. You did so good today, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You tell me if you need anything, yeah? I'll get you anything."

"Cold. Freezing, why is it so cold?"

And Liam had already arranged the two of them under the throw that lives at the foot of the bed because he could hear Zayn's teeth chattering, but he wrapped the sides of the duvet around them too and started rubbing up and down Zayn's arms to heat him up. He would tell Liam things, just a few words about what he saw or how he felt, and though they made perfect sense to Zayn, they were a little confusing to Liam. 'Like I was a lightening bug, buzzing,' and 'It was dark, Li. But there were candles. Candles and cold,' and some of the words weren't even understandable at all. So Liam agreed with his boy and kept telling him how good he'd been today, how proud Liam was of him and smothered more kisses onto his skin. 

And then, it hit his boy suddenly, Liam gathered. Groaning at the newly felt soreness in his joints and the low pulsing in his hole. His breathing erratic and Zayn was so sweaty, fidgety for a few seconds before he catapulted himself from Liam's arms. He pulled himself to a sitting position, tears falling down his cheeks, a panicked look on his face. 

"Stop. Yellow, Liam you have to stop. I feel purple, Liam. Please. Red. Liam, I need help." Zayn shouted, he knows this feeling and he doesn't like it. He doesn't quite know how to describe it to anyone who's never experienced it before, but he's low. He's low and he needs help, Liam needs to help him. 

"We're already done, love. Nothing more, just cuddling." Liam said calmly, "What do you need from me."

"I said 'Red' Liam."

"I know you did, Zayn. I heard you, and I'm not gonna do anything until you tell me what my next step is, yeah?" Liam held his hands up in a placating gesture. "Do you- you said you felt purple. What does that mean?"

Why does Liam not understand what this means? Surely he's told Liam what to do when he's low. He remembers it was a conversation he insisted on having multiple times, backward and forward. If Zayn ever says he's low, Liam is to stop everything immediately and test his blood. Give him food or juice or glucose tabs, anything, everything if he’s low; give him an injection if he’s high, and reassure him that everything’s alright if he’s where he’s supposed to be. Zayn's not stupid, he knows they've gone over this. He’ll do anything to keep from having a repeat of what happened with that one prick who’d taken him down and didn’t care of the implications that Zayn having diabetes would have on him afterwards. “Li, please.”

"You’re purple, love, I hear you." Liam agreed, if anything for the sake of Zayn knowing he was heard. Clearly something is wrong if the colour was lumped in with red and yellow, but 'purple' isn't in their list of safewords, and Liam doesn’t quite know what to do with the information. "And you don't like being purple?"

"Not good." Zayn answered. 

"What can I do for you, how can I make it better?"

Zayn looked strangely at him. Why the hell was Liam not grasping what was going on? "My meter, Liam, and then food."

And then Liam understood. This conversation that they're having, Zayn is trying to tell him that he's low, Zayn is asking for help and Liam should've caught this before now. He should know how to spot Zayn's lows, they've talked about what it looks like and how Liam should react to it in detail. He knows to be sensitive, that crying happens sometimes and that's okay. He knows the levels at which he should dial 999, knows to give him the gel frosting if he's slurring his words or Liam thinks he might choke. He knows that he should give Zayn sweets first and then some sort of protein to hold him over - cheese is apparently really good for this - and he's not to leave Zayn alone for more than a few minutes if he's low enough to stop the scene. But it being described as Zayn feeling as though he were the colour purple, well that's not something that has been discussed before. They can - and they most certainly will - talk about that later, but right now the important thing is that Liam finally understood why Zayn so suddenly used his colours, and that Liam is actively taking steps to correct it. 

Liam flipped himself onto his belly in an instant, a hand reaching out to grab the test kit that's been tucked into the bedside drawer with a package of gummy bears for this exact purpose. Zayn welcomed the switch that's been turned in Liam's brain. They're going to have to talk about this later, but now Liam's fixing things and it's all going to be okay. There's a strip put into the machine in seconds and Liam's holding the small black device that's going to prick Zayn's fingers in his left hand reaching out for Zayn's with his other. 

"Is it alright if I do this for you, love?"

"I- yeah." 

"Okay. Just a quick little poke here ... good, and a little squeeze ... alright there we are." He narrated, dripping the blood from Zayn's fingertip on top of the strip. 

It took five seconds. That's all, and when the number came up, it's not at all what either of them were expecting. A 5,2 was shown and, well, that couldn't be right. That's a good number and there's no way it's right with the way Zayn is acting. Liam pulled the strip out, replacing immediately with another and squeezed blood from a new pin prick on Zayn's finger. Again, they waited the five seconds and were afforded the same number: a 5,2. 

"You're- Darlin' you're not low."

"Yes, I am, Liam. It's wrong. I can feel it."

"Okay, love," Liam answered. If Zayn felt like he was low, Liam's not going to say he's lying. "Eat some gummies, you're alright. Everything's gonna be just fine, darlin'."

Zayn knows that tone, Liam doesn't believe him, he's simply indulging Zayn to respect his safeword. And sure, that's the bare minimum of what Liam should always do, respect his safe words, but he feels something a bit like being betrayed right now. He won't ever trust Liam like this again if he's going to take the piss out of the situation right now. Because Zayn knows his body, he knows how it's supposed to feel and he knows what it's not supposed to feel like. And for the record, it feels like something is very, very off right now. 

"You don't- I'm not- Liam, I'm low." 

"Hey, you feel purple, don't you? Then you should eat something, love. I have the gummies and glucose tabs and Gatorade and a package of crisps, or we can go to the kitchen and I'll make you something more substantial. Eat something for right now and we'll figure out what's wrong with your metre when you feel better, Darlin'. I know you're purple. Just come 'ere, love." Liam opened his arms and invited his boy in. "It's okay, love. You're just a little low."

The gummies didn't do anything to help the way Zayn felt, neither did the crisps and he wanted more, more, more. But before he was given more food, Liam insisted on checking again - even if the metre is off it should be off by a consistent margin, Liam had argued. It spit out a 9,7 and Zayn though he may cry when he saw it. He doesn't understand why his body felt so low, why when he exhaled it took a millisecond too long to breath in again and he felt a little like he may die. Liam must’ve thought he’d gone mental but Zayn couldn't find it in himself to care. He'd never felt so wonky, he didn't know how to fix himself and to be honest, he'd been a little afraid. 

"Hey Darlin', I'm right 'ere. Talk to me, yeah? Tell me what you're thinking."

"We might need to go to hospital."

"In all seriousness, say the word and I'll put you in some clothes and break all the traffic laws to get you to hospital in record time, but could it be, that maybe you feel like this because you're coming back up from subspace? Has coming out of a scene ever felt like this? Because I know there's all these hormones and receptors and things in your body that are going crazy right now and it's been a long day. Maybe you're just trying to regulate yourself again and that's just what it feels like? Maybe you're dropping and this is how it feels."

"I feel low, Liam."

"I hear you, Zayn. You know how your body feels, and I'm not saying that you don't feel low, that you're not purple. But maybe it's just the same feeling." Liam offered gently. 

"It's never happened like this before," a pause, and Liam thought seriously for a moment about an evening trip to A&E. "I don't even remember the last time I've dropped. It's been years, I couldn't even tell you who I was with. Am I dropping?"

"I think maybe just a little bit sweetheart, it can happen all the time for all different sorts of reasons and feel all different ways," Liam insisted, rubbing up and down his arms. "You're just fine, love. You went really deep, I think, and it can be a lot for you to work yourself out of when it's been so long. We're gonna stay here for a bit. Just you, me, and some awesome cuddling, yeah? And you tell me if you start to feel better or worse or want to go to A&E, okay?"

"We- you don't have to this, Li. It's fine, I'll be fine. I just need to sleep it off."

"We do though, love. If it is your metre that's wrong, you should wait your fifteen minutes or until you feel better, and I want to tell you how good you were. Wanna talk your ear off about how beautiful you were while you were under. I've never seen anything so wonderful."

"Me? No, not wonderful," Zayn insisted. 

"Oh but you were. Had this look on your face, in your eyes, like you were seeing for the first time in your life. You were so good for me all day, so wonderful."

"Spent the day fucking meself on a dildo, Liam. I couldn't 'ave been that wonderful."

"That was one of my favourite parts, darlin'. You looked so pretty, and god, you were so good. Such a good listener when I asked you to do that, it was so good. How you arched your back without even being asked to, took me down your throat as far as you could and then let me fuck into it as I pleased. You were so good, darlin'. Such a good boy for me."

"Good for you," Zayn had said, the end of the sentence picking up an octave or two, like Zayn couldn't decide if it was a statement or a question. 

"The best boy." Liam answered, letting the words linger across Zayn's skin. 

If Zayn had though he was desperate for praise before, he couldn’t describe his feelings about it now. All he knew is that he’d rather bury himself ten feet under before he disappointed Liam. Those three words 'my best boy' went straight to his core, seeped into his guts and made them flip a time, or seven. Zayn wanted to hear it over and over and over again until he dies of old age. He could’ve started crying when Liam kept repeating it because it just felt so fucking good, that would’ve been just a bit dramatic though, especially since he'd already suggested an evening trip to emergency like asking Li to run back out after work because he’d forgotten the milk. He felt himself start to settle a bit. He didn't feel like he was quite so low anymore, and with the effect the words Liam spoke had on him, maybe there was something to Li's theory of subdrop and a hypo feeling the same way. 

Liam had them stay there for another hour and a half. Tracing lace patterns over Zayn's skin and whispering to him gently. He kept them connected at all times, by hands wrapped together or Zayn's head on Liam's bare chest, by kisses up and down Zayn's limbs or a gentle massage. He kept a steady stream of water going into his boy, too, having Zayn take a few sips every couple of minutes. A constant monolog of praise and adoration being given to Zayn as the boy laid there and allowed himself to be fussed over. His heart finally settled a bit, he didn't feel as if his blood was shaking in his veins anymore. 

There was talk of a bath for a while, but as disgusting as Zayn felt, he only wanted to climb under the duvet and sleep for ages. Liam had already done a preliminary clean up, it's not like Zayn was trying to go to sleep with Liam's come drying as it leaked out of his hole, or laying in a puddle of his own. Sure a shower was due in the morning to get a more thorough clean, but it's not something that needed to be done now. Zayn decided it'd be more trouble than it's worth, too, because he'd be cold once he stepped out from under the spray and that sounds like an undue hardship at the moment. He really just wanted Liam to agree to sleep now, it'll do Zayn some good. 

"Not yet, darlin'. You have to take your medicine, and you keep an extra metre in the cupboard with your other supplies, yeah? I want to make sure there isn't something wrong with your other one."

"I can take them in the morning and we can figure it out later. Please, bed." 

"No, Zayn. You can stay here in bed and I'll bring everything to you or you can come with me, but it's happening."

"I'll do as I please, actually, so you can piss off. I can skip one night and be fine. It's no big deal, I'm fine."

"Sweetie, I'll piss off once I know that your sugar is stable and you've taken all three of your prescriptions and not a moment before. I'm not gonna force you into the shower, hell, I don't even care if you brush your teeth or not. But I'm not letting your basic care slide because you're coming up from a drop and want some space. This is non-negotiable. The end."

"We're not in a scene, it's done. If you think I'm going to listen to you, you're wrong."

By the look on Zayn's face, he was expecting to shut Liam down with his reply. He didn't expect Liam to fire back without skipping a beat. "We're not in the middle of a scene, but this is part of the whole. It's called aftercare, darlin'. And once I know that you're all safe and replace the gummies in the night stand and tuck you into bed, I'll go sleep in the guest room if you'd like. Because I will give you anything you need from me, even if it's space after I know you're safe. But aftercare is part of a scene, even if you said 'red' and ended any sort of play I'm still gonna take care of you. The end. So I'll ask you again: Do you want to stay in bed or do you get up and walk for a bit?"

"I'll stay in bed, then. Can I at least get under the duvet, Sir?" Zayn countered, the last word coming out surprisingly like venom. 

"Yeah, darlin' you get yourself comfortable. Use the loo if you need to, brush your teeth if you want to, or don't if that's what you please. Is there anything you'd like me to bring you?"

Zayn shook his head that no, he didn't need anything and settled himself in their bed. He’d be damned if he showed how much this meant to him. Sure, he was cross with Liam at the beginning, but when the other lad offered to sleep in the guest room, well Zayn couldn't be mad at him after that, could he? Liam was tripping over himself to make sure that Zayn would be able to sleep safely through the night and here he is, being upset and petty with the man that had truly done so much for him tonight. He won't be showing it though, especially after Liam was right there with it, ready for each argument with a counter. Acting like he was saving Zayn from himself or summat. 

When Liam did return, he was carrying Zayn's mobile, the back-up metre, his shot kit, an extra packet of fruit gummies, a bottle of coconut water and some chocolate. And fuck if it wasn't something that Zayn had only seen in his dreams. It was nice of him to do and Zayn felt kinda shitty for being cross with the lad for providing him the opportunity to lay in bed while he ran around collecting the items. Liam had always been a good Dom, he only insists on what's actually important after a scene. He made sure Zayn was safe and happy and seated and then let Zayn decide what happens next. He constantly allowed Zayn to take the reins and express feelings or really anything once they've wrapped up the necessities of after care. Liam always gave Zayn the option of time and space and loads of freedom when they're done. Honestly, this shouldn't come as a surprise to the him. 

"Alright, love. There's your back-up metre, it seems to be in proper order. Shot kit if you want to correct for whatever number you get. Coconut water is supposed to help with electrolytes, I brought a bottle of water for your prescriptions too if you prefer that. The gummies to replace what you ate before and the I know I'm a little late with the chocolate, but it's supposed to make the drop less intense. Easier to get through." Liam clearly didn't see the tears welling up in his eyes, because he continued even after Zayn had let a few fall over the edge. "I can run to the loo while you get yourself sorted for the night. If you want me to sleep in the guest room, I'd prefer you allow me a little bit of time to rub some gel into your knees and wrists. The more skin-to-skin contact you get now, the better off you'll be later and the marks will fade easier."

"Stay." Zayn asked with a harsh sob. And Liam hadn't noticed before because he was tucking the gummies into his drawer and deftly handing over water while trying so hard not to actually touch Zayn, but he noticed now. "I'm sorry. It's just- You're just doing so much and I'm being an arse. You should sleep in your bed tonight, it's okay."

"Darlin', hey, you're not being an arse. Don't be sorry. You're being yourself. Your independent and strong minded self. It's okay that you don't want me demanding you to do things now, really good, even; but we have to take care of you, yeah?"

"I'm tired and I don't want to. But that doesn't mean I get to shit all over you."

"All I'm asking from you now is to swallow your pills. And then you can go to sleep Darlin'."

Zayn nodded, sitting himself up and taking the bottle of coconut water and cracking the seal. "I never asked you to sleep in the guest room." 

"I know baby, I wanted to offer it to you. If you need space, I understand."

"Please stay." Zayn begged as he took the pills from Liam's offered palm and swallowed them easily. "I don't want to sleep alone tonight."

"Okay, love. I can do that." Liam pulled the duvet on his side back and slid into bed next to Zayn. "Do you wanna be big spoon or little?"

"Big, please. Wanna hold you tonight."

And Liam had no problem granting this request, pulling himself into cocoon for Zayn to wrap himself around. The first time Zayn had asked to be big spoon after a scene Liam had worries. It was supposed to be him to do the holding. He should've been the one to be tracing lace patterns onto Zayn's skin, it should be him to protect Zayn from the night. He'd learned, though, that's not who Zayn is. Zayn may be the subiest of subs while he was in a scene, but after that: God help the one who even suggests that Zayn is less than capable of anything. But Liam has nothing against his boyfriend for that, he quite likes being held like this every now and again.

**Author's Note:**

> As always thank you so so so much for all the hits, and If you enjoyed a kudos or a comment. Questions or clarification about the diabetes aspect of this fic is absolutely welcome, I'd kinda like to use this as sorta an educational thing along with a smut fest. I hope you enjoyed it !! xx.


End file.
